25 Homemade Dildo Tricks: Discreet, Safe Fun

Why Get Crafty with a DIY Dildo?

Safety and Sneakiness: The Must-Know Rules

• Pick Safe Stuff: Stick to non-porous goodies like food-grade silicone, tempered glass, or stainless steel. Skip anything sketchy like wood or cheap plastic that can hoard germs like a bad roommate.
• Keep It Smooth: Your DIY dildo should feel like a silk scarf, not sandpaper. No sharp edges or rough patches allowed.
• Scrub It Clean: Wash with soap and water, boil if the material’s cool with it, or wipe down with a 10% bleach solution. Slap on a fresh, lubed-up condom every time for extra cleanliness.
• Lube Is Your BFF: Use water-based lube with condoms or silicone-based for other stuff. Oil-based lube? Hard pass—it wrecks condoms.
• Stay Stealthy: Stash your creation in a locked makeup bag or pencil case. Go for items that blend in (like a spoon) if you’re dodging prying eyes.
• Test It Out: Play externally first to make sure it feels good and won’t fall apart mid-session.
• Listen to Your Body: If it hurts or feels off, stop. No heroics needed.

25 Clever DIY Dildo Ideas for Every Vibe

Beginner-Friendly Hacks (No Skills, No Stress)

Banana: Curvy and Playful

How to Make It: Pick a ripe but firm banana—no mushy ones allowed. Wash the skin to ditch dirt, then wrap it in two layers of plastic wrap to keep it from turning into a smoothie. Add a lubed condom, knot it tight, and slather on more lube. Ease it in, using the curve to tease your G-spot or prostate. Grip the end to keep things under control.

The Good: Awesome curve for targeted spots, soft yet sturdy, probably already in your kitchen.

The Bad: Single-use; overripe ones can collapse; no anal base.

Safety Musts: Test for firmness to avoid a mess inside. Swap out the condom if it tears. Toss after one go to skip bacteria. Store in a cool spot before use—warm bananas are a no-go.

Hairbrush Handle: Stealth Mode On

How to Make It: Find a hairbrush with a smooth plastic or silicone handle, about 4–6 inches long. Scrub it with hot soapy water, rinse, and dry. Sand any seams with fine sandpaper for that silky feel. Lube up a condom, wrap the handle, and knot it. Slide it in gently, using the brush head as your grip. Stash it with your toiletries to keep it on the DL.

The Good: Blends right into your bathroom, tough as nails, easy to clean.

The Bad: Not super long or thick; can feel stiff; no anal base.

Safety Musts: Skip brushes with textured grips—they trap germs. Make sure it’s non-porous (no wood!). Disinfect after every use. Check for cracks or loose bits before you start.

Carrot: Slim and Chill

How to Make It: Grab a firm, straight carrot, about 5–7 inches long and 1 inch wide. Scrub it with a veggie brush, peel it clean, and boil for 1–2 minutes to soften the texture if you want it less rigid. Dry it, lube up, wrap in a condom, and ease it in slowly. Perfect for folks who like it slim and simple.

The Good: Skinny for newbies, dirt cheap (under $1), smooth after prep.

The Bad: One-use only; can be too hard without boiling; no anal base.

Safety Musts: Look for cracks or soft spots. Toss after use. If you boil it, let it cool before wrapping to avoid condom issues. Avoid brittle carrots—they might snap.

Silicone Spatula Handle: Kitchen Kink

How to Make It: Pick a spatula with a smooth, food-grade silicone handle, around 5–7 inches. Wash it with hot soap, dry, and sand any logos or seams. Slather lube on a condom, wrap the handle tight, and knot it. Slide it in, using the spatula blade as your grip. Try warming it in water for a cozy feel.

The Good: Bendy yet firm, safe material, looks innocent in the kitchen.

The Bad: Not very thick; some handles are short; no anal base.

Safety Musts: Confirm it’s food-grade silicone (check the label). Avoid hollow handles—they can trap water. Boil to disinfect if safe. Stash in a drawer for sneaky vibes.

Intermediate Hacks (A Little More Prep)

Stainless Steel Spoon: Hot or Cold Fun

How to Make It: Snag a big spoon with a smooth, rounded handle, about 5–6 inches. Wash with hot soap, then soak in warm or cold water for 2–3 minutes for a temperature kick. Test it on your wrist, lube up a condom, wrap the handle, and ease it in, holding the spoon bowl for control.

The Good: Built to last, awesome for hot/cold play, blends in with utensils.

The Bad: Feels rigid, not super girthy, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Keep water temps safe (below 110°F/43°C, above 32°F/0°C). Check for rust or sharp edges. Boil to disinfect. Store with kitchen stuff to avoid suspicion.

Frozen Water Bottle: Icy Thrills

How to Make It: Fill a small plastic bottle (8 oz) with water, leaving a bit of space for ice to expand. Freeze for 4–6 hours. Let it sit 2–3 minutes to soften sharp edges. Wrap in a soft cloth or condom with lube, and use it externally or just barely inside, holding the neck.

The Good: Cool and refreshing, easy to whip up, pick your bottle size.

The Bad: Melts fast, too cold for deep use, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Test the temp (above 32°F/0°C) to avoid frostbite. Swap out wet cloths or condoms. Clean the bottle after use. Don’t push it in too far.

Electric Toothbrush: A Little Buzz
How to Make It: Pop off the brush head of an electric toothbrush with a smooth handle (4–5 inches). Scrub the handle with soap, dry it, and tape over any buttons. Lube a condom, wrap it up, and use the low buzz setting for external or shallow fun, gripping the base.

The Good: Gentle vibrations, super discreet, probably in your bathroom already.

The Bad: Not for deep use, buzz is weak, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Make sure it’s waterproof if you’re near water. Don’t press too hard—it’s not built for that. Disinfect after use. Stash with your toiletries.

Stuffed Sock: Soft and Squishy

How to Make It: Grab a clean cotton sock and stuff it with cotton balls or something firm like a marker. Tie the end, wrap in plastic wrap for shape, then add a lubed condom. Slide it in slowly, tweaking the stuffing to get the firmness just right.

The Good: Soft and customizable, dirt cheap (under $1), fun to play with.

The Bad: Falls apart after a few uses, needs remaking, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Use fresh, clean stuffing to avoid mold. Check for loose bits. Replace after 1–2 uses. Keep it in a sealed bag for hygiene.

Corn on the Cob: Bumpy Delight

How to Make It: Peel a fresh corn cob (5–6 inches), scrub off every kernel and silk, and boil for 2 minutes to soften if you want. Dry it, lube up, wrap in a condom, and ease it in for a textured ride. Hold the base tight.

The Good: Wild bumpy texture, firm but forgiving, cheap as heck.

The Bad: One-use only, texture can be intense, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Check for leftover kernel bits—they can irritate. Toss after use. Use extra lube for the texture. Don’t over-boil or it’ll get too soft.

Shampoo Bottle: Big and Bold

How to Make It: Pick a smooth shampoo bottle (6–8 inches). Empty it, scrub it clean, and tape the cap shut. Lube a condom, wrap it up, and slide it in, holding the base. Great for folks who like a fuller feel.

The Good: Tough, easy to grip, blends in with bathroom stuff.

The Bad: Too big for newbies, rigid, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Avoid bottles with loose caps or sharp edges. Check for cracks. Disinfect and store with toiletries. Start with smaller bottles if you’re new.

Toothbrush Holder: Travel Buddy

How to Make It: Grab a smooth, cylindrical plastic toothbrush holder (5–6 inches). Wash it thoroughly, dry, and sand any seams. Lube a condom, wrap it tight, and ease it in, holding the base. Perfect for sneaky trips or shared bathrooms.

The Good: Discreet, portable, looks innocent.

The Bad: Not very thick, rigid, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Confirm it’s non-porous plastic. Check for cracks or loose lids. Disinfect after use. Store in a toiletry bag for privacy.

Tapered Candle: Slim and Sleek

How to Make It: Pick an unscented, smooth paraffin or soy candle (5–7 inches, 0.5–1 inch wide). Wash to remove dust, dry, and sand any ridges. Lube a condom, wrap it up, and slide it in slowly, holding the base.

The Good: Slim for beginners, smooth after prep, easy to find.

The Bad: Can break if too thin, one-use, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Avoid scented candles—they can irritate. Check for cracks. Toss after use. Use extra lube for comfort.

Showerhead: Splashy Good Times

How to Make It: Use a detachable showerhead with warm water (95–100°F) and gentle pressure. Aim the stream at your clitoris, perineum, or anal area, keeping it 2–4 inches away. Play with settings for different vibes.

The Good: Hands-free, intense, no insertion needed.

The Bad: Not for penetration, needs a detachable head.

Safety Musts: Avoid high-pressure jets—they can hurt. Test water temp to avoid burns. Clean the head regularly. Lock the bathroom door.

Glass Bottle: Fancy Temperature Play

How to Make It: Snag a small, smooth tempered glass bottle (like a 2–3 oz perfume bottle). Empty it, wash with hot soap, and soak in warm or cold water for 2–3 minutes. Test on your wrist, lube a condom, wrap it, and ease it in, holding the neck.

The Good: Durable, smooth, awesome for hot/cold play.

The Bad: Heavy, limited size, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Use only tempered glass to avoid shattering. Check for cracks. Avoid extreme temps. Disinfect after use.

Advanced Hacks (For the Crafty Crew)

DIY Silicone Dildo: Your Custom Masterpiece

How to Make It: Get a food-grade silicone molding kit (like Clone-a-Willy, $30–$50). Mix the silicone, pour into a mold (try a cucumber for shape), and let it cure for 24–48 hours. Sand any rough spots, wash, lube, and wrap in a condom for your first go.

The Good: Totally custom, reusable, safe if done right.

The Bad: Costs a bit, takes time, no anal base unless you design one.

Safety Musts: Use only platinum-cure silicone. Work in a ventilated spot to avoid fumes. Check for air bubbles. Store in a sealed bag.

3D-Printed Dildo Base: Techy Treat

How to Make It: Design a smooth 5–7 inch base with 3D printing software (or grab a template online). Print with non-porous filament like PETG, sand it smooth, and coat with food-grade silicone sealant. Cure for 48 hours, wash, lube, and wrap in a condom.

The Good: Custom shapes, reusable, nerd-level cool.

The Bad: Needs a 3D printer, time-intensive, no anal base unless designed.

Safety Musts: Use non-toxic filament. Check for sharp edges. Apply sealant evenly. Disinfect and store in a locked box.

DIY Suction Cup Dildo: Hands-Free Heaven

How to Make It: Grab a new suction cup (like a clean plunger, $5–$10) and glue a body-safe item (like a silicone handle) to it. Clean it, wrap in a lubed condom, and stick it to a smooth surface like a tile floor. Test it before going hands-free.

The Good: Hands-free, versatile angles, reusable.

The Bad: Needs setup, base must be sturdy, anal base depends on design.

Safety Musts: Use a brand-new suction cup. Check glue strength. Disinfect all parts. Store separately for discretion.

Silicone Ice Cube Tray: Playful Shapes

How to Make It: Fill a food-grade silicone ice cube tray with water, picking small, smooth shapes like cylinders. Freeze for 2–3 hours, pop out the ice, and let it sit 1–2 minutes to soften edges. Wrap in a condom, lube up, and use for external or shallow play.

The Good: Fun shapes, cooling vibes, super cheap.

The Bad: Melts fast, one-use, not for deep play.

Safety Musts: Check for sharp ice edges. Use right after softening. Replace wet condoms. Clean the tray after use.

DIY Thrusting Dildo: Power Move

How to Make It: Attach a body-safe dildo (like a silicone mold) to a low-speed reciprocating saw ($20–$90) with a secure clamp. Test at the lowest speed, wrap in a condom, lube up, and use with a buddy or supervision for slow, shallow thrusts.

The Good: Mimics thrusting toys, intense, reusable.

The Bad: Risky if you’re not careful, needs expertise, pricey setup.

Safety Musts: Use with supervision. Ensure the clamp is tight. Stop if it feels off. Disinfect and store securely.

Drumstick: Slim and Groovy

How to Make It: Pick a smooth plastic drumstick (6–8 inches). Wash with soap, dry, and sand any seams. Lube a condom, wrap it up, and slide it in slowly, holding the thicker end. Great for slim-profile fans.

The Good: Slim and lightweight, durable, looks like a music prop.

The Bad: Not girthy, rigid, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Avoid wooden drumsticks—they can splinter. Check for cracks. Disinfect with bleach solution. Store in a pencil case.

DIY Dildo Chair: Mounted Magic

How to Make It: Stick a body-safe item (like a silicone dildo) to a suction cup base. Clean it, wrap in a condom, lube up, and secure to a sturdy chair. Test stability by pressing down, then go hands-free or with slow moves.

The Good: Hands-free, adjustable height, reusable.

The Bad: Needs a stable chair, setup time, anal base depends on design.

Safety Musts: Ensure the chair won’t tip. Check suction strength. Disinfect all parts. Store components separately.

Foam Tube: Soft and Shapable

How to Make It: Cut a 6–8 inch piece of foam tube insulation ($2–$5) from a hardware store. Shape it with scissors, sand rough edges, and wrap in plastic wrap for stability. Add a lubed condom and slide it in gently.

The Good: Soft and forgiving, customizable, cheap.

The Bad: Needs shaping, less durable, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Check for loose foam bits. Use new foam. Replace after 2–3 uses. Store in a sealed bag.

Zucchini: Cucumber’s Softer Cousin

How to Make It: Pick a firm zucchini (5–8 inches). Scrub, peel, and boil for 1–2 minutes to soften if you want. Dry, lube up, wrap in a condom, and ease it in, holding the base. Try chilling for a cool effect.

The Good: Softer than cucumbers, varied sizes, cheap ($1–$3).

The Bad: One-use, softens fast, no anal base.

Safety Musts: Check for soft spots. Toss after use. Cool if boiled. Avoid deep insertion without a base.

Store-Bought Dildo: The Easy Upgrade

How to Make It: Grab a body-safe silicone dildo ($20–$90). Wash per instructions, lube it up, and use with or without a condom. Play with angles or speeds if it vibrates.

The Good: Safe, durable, often anal-safe with a flared base.

The Bad:The more powerful the function, the more expensive it is.

Safety Musts: Clean with toy cleaner. Store in a pouch. Check for wear over time.

Tips for Your Unique Setup

• Sneaky Situations: Use hairbrushes or spoons and hide them in a locked makeup bag. Clean when no one’s home.
• Pinched Pennies: Veggies or socks cost under $5. Silicone kits ($30–$50) save money compared to fancy dildos ($50–$100).
• First-Timers: Start with slim carrots or soft socks, and don’t skimp on lube.
• Anal Adventures: Pick suction cup dildos with flared bases and extra lube. Take it slow.
• All Genders Welcome: Bananas for prostate play, showerheads for external buzz—there’s something for everyone.

Mistakes to Dodge

• Using dodgy materials like wood or thin glass—they can hurt or break.
• Forgetting to clean or skipping condoms—hello, infections.
• Leaving your makeshift dildo out for roommates to find. Lock it up!
• Ignoring pain—stop and tweak size or lube if it feels off.

You’re Doing Great!